I get a lot of emails about trich.
From all over the world.
It's actually not cool, but pretty cool at the same time.
'Cause it stinks big time that so many people have it.
Trichotillomania is NOT A FUN DISORDER...
if you haven't figured that out already.
Most people want to know how I do it.
By "it" they mean how do I "put it out there."
You know, the fact that I have trichotillomania.
Let me just say that it took a long time to be able to be upfront about it.
I used to be a cheerleader for Boise State University.
At that time, I was suffering with some really bad episodes of pulling.
So bad, in fact, that I would have no eyelashes or eyebrows at all.
All this when I was a cheerleader?
Talk about self-conscious issues.
I was a mess.
I had to pencil or shade in my eyebrows completely everyday,
and I also almost always wore false eyelashes.
At that time,
I NEVER talked about trich.
I tried to hide it from the world.
It took many years after that (well 6 to be exact),
to be where I am now in a place of wanting to talk about it.
It's still not easy.
I get very embarrassed when I do poorly and pull lashes and eyebrows.
But I am trying so hard to be honest with myself
and putting it all out there is so important to me.
So I know I still haven't answered the question of
"How can you feel comfortable talking about it?"
Well, I'm about to.
Trich, though not something I love, has taught me a few things.
I am a brave person. I face challenges and changes head on, knowing that they will probably create pulling urges for me.
When you are ready to put it out there that you have trich,
you have to have courage to own up that you are not perfect.
You have a funky disorder.
And yes. It stinks.
But you are courageous because you're still standing here today.
I am always the first person to say how perfect I am.
Owning up to the fact that I'm not (though my sister seems to have known it for years),
is really hard for me.
Trich has taught me that I really am a real, mistake-making person.
If that sounds conceited-- don't worry. It is.
I am a much different person now than I was a few years ago.
And that's a good thing.
Boy oh boy.
I can't even count how many times I've pulled out an eyelash and said,
"I'm not going to tell anyone and pretend like it didn't happen."
However, if I lie to everyone like that,
the biggest person I'm lying to is myself.
So I have become very upfront and honest about everything.
I have become so proud of myself through this whole venture in blogging,
and in life.
I am not proud of the fact that I have trichotillomania,
but I AM proud of the fact that I'm trying to change it.
I love that quote that says,
"Be the change you wish to see in the world."
I try to live by that quote each and every day.
ANYWAY-- I do blog about trich, and I do put it out there because it has taught me so much.
There's something inside me that keeps telling me I need to share my story.
I don't care if 5 people or 500 people benefit from my struggles
If I can help one single person to make it through this difficult disorder,
my efforts are worth it.
Oh, and don't forget.
I still deal with this on a daily basis.
I am not cured.
In fact, I just caught myself touching my brows...
but I realized it and put my hand down right away.
If you're still in that stage where you're not proud, brave or ready to face this disorder 100%, that is okay.
It is not bad to be uncomfortable with the fact that you pull your hair.
Someday, you will find that you are amazing.
Trich does not define you.
It may be something that you deal with,
but it's such a small thing.
You are big. Strong. Powerful.
You are YOU.
And I'd definitely say that's something to be proud of.
Then you can overcome it.